Nuff Said

How to Get Over with your Ex

There is no surefire way to get over an ex boyfriend / girlfriend. When you break up, especially after being together for a long time, it is like losing a part of yourself. Do not fear though - it is not losing a part of yourself, it is just “like” losing a part of yourself.

There are a common set of 5 stages of grief that people go through during a breakup: 


Denial


At this point, you cant believe what has happened and you are most likely overwhelmed by shock - half expecting things to go back to “normal”.


Anger / Resentment


This is when it gets nasty & you might be inclined to do or say things that you will regret to the other person. You blame the other person for causing the situation or wasting years of your life, or being so difficult. In many ways those things are necessary because essentially fighting with each other and causing hurt makes the break up easier to comprehend for each person.


Bargaining


Im not quite sure that this is next after anger. Apparently, this is where you will feel inclined to try to convince the person that you can change or they can change and you really should be together. The decision to break up feels wrong and it seems as though the solution is to get back together rather than stay apart.


Depression


It’s really quite straightforward. You feel down in the dumps, alone and withdrawn from the world. At this point, the loss is acknowledged and it takes time to deal with it and sort through the issues. This is when you will feel most alone in the world. But don't fret! the best is yet to come.


Acceptance


The breakup is now in your past. You’re able to move forward with your life. Hopefully at this stage, seeing the person doesn't send you backwards in to one of the other stages.


What else?


Now that you know the stages of grief, you can at least understand what you are going through. Some other things you may experience during grief is a sense of a lost identity. You need to rediscover and redefine who you are without the other person. It’s difficult and dangerous because its important to have stability in your life.


How to get through it
  • Go to the Gym / work out - This is a fantastic thing to do when you are getting over a break up. Working out releases endorphins in the brain so you feel better than you ordinarily would if you were going through a break up (I am working out 5 - 6 times a week).
  • Be more social - Hang out or go to the nearest coffee shop with a good book, make some new friends who don't know your ex, get out of the house!
  • Generally get more busy - The less time you have alone to think, the less time you will be sitting alone thinking about your break up. Dwelling on a problem rarely presents a solution. The
    only thing to help with a breakup is time. If you can allow time to pass without over analyzing the situation, it will help.
  • Join a club, group or new activity - Increase the number of times you do an activity during the week. Take a cooking class. Join a book club. Do something you’ve always wanted to try. Go traveling!
All of these can help you take your mind off grieving for the most part but will allow you to think about it in moments - to process things without dwelling. In this case, I am taking my own advice! I hope it works for you.

Paraan Para sa Masayang Pag-iibigan

 Ang pag-ibig ay hindi lang tungkol sa pagtuklas ng ka-swak mo, kundi kung pano makabuo ng isang masaya at mabuting relasyon. Hindi ito tungkol sa kung gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, kundi kung paano mo payabungin at itaguyod ang inyong pag-iibigan hanggang sa katapusan. Ang relasyon ay dapat masaya, may pagmamahal, pag-aalaga, habang tumatagal ay mas lalong tumitibay, at higit sa lahat positibo. Ang pagmamahal sa isang relasyon ay dapat nagdudulot ng ngiti at kinang sa buhay.

Simula sa araw na ito, piliin mong i-kontrol ng maayos ang relasyon ng iyong kapareha para sa  masayang pagsasama. Maari mong tingnan ang listahan sa ibaba at sundin kung sa tingin mo ay nararapat para sa inyo.

I. Tandaan na ang bawat Tao at Relasyon ay magkaiba. 

Kadalasan nabibihag ang ating puso ng isang tao kapag ang sa tingin natin ay kakaiba siya sa lahat. Yung tipong walang kapareha. Natatangi. Hindi tayo perpekto para sa lahat. Perpekto lang tayo dun sa mga taong nagbigay sa atin ng halaga at panahon para kilalanin tayo ng lubos. At dun sa mga taong gusto tayong kilalanin ay marahil dahil na rin sa nakita nilang iba ka sa karamihan. At dun ay magsisimula ang masayang pagmamahalan. 

Upang maiwasan ang away at sigalot sa isang relasyon, mas maigi na wag ihambing ang inyong relasyon sa ibang tao. Wag ihalintulad sa relasyon ng inyong mga magulang, kaibigan, kasamahan sa trabaho o sa mga taong sa tingin mo perpekto ang kanilang pagsasama. Ang bawat taong nagmamahalan ang siyang gumagawa ng patakaran, kasunduan o kaugalian sa kanilang pag-iibigan.

II. Mahalin at irespeto ang sarili bilang isang indibiduwal.

Para sa akin, ang pagmamahal ay nagsisimula sa sarili. Wag iasa ang kaligayahan at sariling pagpapahalaga sa iyong kapareha. Ito ay dapat nagsisimula sayo mismo. Ikaw ang may responsibilidad sa sarili mo. Kung hindi mo kayang mahalin at irespeto ang sarili mo mas lalong walang ibang taong gagawa nun para sayo. Love yourself, ika nga, before you love others. 

Tanggapin mo kung ano at sino ka - masama man o mabuti. At gumawa ng hakbang para baguhin ito na sa tingin mo ay tama, hindi dahil sa tingin mo ay ito ang makakabuti para sa kapareha mo kundi nagbago ka dahil iyon ang tama, para sa sarili mo.


III. Say what you mean and mean what you say.


Para sa masayang relasyon, ibahagi sa iyong kapareha kung ano ang nasa isip mo, yung mga kailangan mo, pangarap, inaasahan mo sa inyong relasyon, mga gusto mo, at plano. Hayaang maging bukas ang komunikasyon ninyong dalawa dahil ito ang isa sa pinaka mahalagang sangkap sa isang matibay sa relasyon.



IV. Suportahan ang bawat isa sa hirap at ginhawa. 

Wag iwanan ang iyong kapareha sa oras ng paghihirap, ginhawa, kalungkutan o ano pa man. Maging isang kaibigan sa mga oras na kailangan. Maging handa sa pag unawa, sa pakikinig, sa yapos, at suportang emosyonal kung ito ay kailangan. Patatagin ang tiwala na handa kayong damayan ang isat-isa sa oras ng pangangailangan.


V. Maging Tapat.

Ang totoong pagmamahalan ay hindi tungkol sa dalawang taong hindi mapaghiwalay kahit na ano paman. Ang isang relasyon ay tungkol sa dalawang taong tapat sa isat-isa kahit na magkabukod man sila.Sa isang relasyon ang pagiging matapat ay hindi isang opsyon, kundi ito ay isang priority.

VI. Magkaroon ng panahon sa isat-isa.

Bigyan ng panahon ang bawat isa. Kahit na masyado kang busy sa trabaho o sa ibang bigay, maglaan ng panahon at oras para makapag pahinga at magsaya kasama ang mahal mo. Hindi nasusukat ang tatag ng isang relasyon dahil sa palagi kayong magkasama, kundi nasusukat ito sa kung paano mo pinakita ang halaga sa kapareha. Maaaring magkalapit at magkasama kayo ng iyong mahal, ngunit masyado namang malayo ang bawat damdamin sa isat-isa. Wag kalimutan maglaan ng oras para magsaya. 


VII. Ayusin ang argumento sa mahinaun at matiwasay na paraan. 


Hindi maiwasan na nagkakaroon kayo ng kunting tampuhin o bangayan sa isang relasyon. Kasama na yan sa pagmamahal. Doon nasusukat ang tatag ninyo kapag nalampasan niyo na ang bawat pagsubok. Ngunit, mas mainam na idaan ang bawat away sa maayos at matiwasay na usapan. Kapag sa tingin mo ay masyadong mainit na ang usapan niyo, mas mabuting umalis o iwasan ito. Magpalamig muna ng ulo bago makipag usap. Sa ganitong paraan mas maiiwasan mo na makabitiw ng mga salitang hindi dapat.

 Siguro marami tayong paraan para mas mapatatag ang bawat relasyon na ating pinapasukan. Depende yan sa estilo o paraan ng bawat tao sa kung paano niya patatagin ito ang mahalaga ay maging masaya anhg bawat relasyon mo. 


I thank you.. bow!

Wasted



"This is the answer to my hardships," Gerry declared.

Tightly holding the rusty knife in his right hand, Gerry slowly sliced his wrist moving it back and forth as blood slowly dropped out while tears started to fall. He was enjoying the pain and agony as he remembered every adversity he had. 

"This feeling is much better than seeing myself succumb to every transgression," He said.

"Why are you wasting your life?" A voice came out of nowhere.


"Why do you care?" Gerry put the knife down while the blood continued to flow from his wrist.

"I care because I am you. Look inside your heart. I am here. Go back to your senses and stop acting like an uneducated man. You are stronger than that. Trust me, things will be better again soon."

Gerry couldn't feel anything anymore. He's standing in front of the window looking at a distance, while blood continue to drip from his wrist down to his fingertips.

Another life was wasted.

Signs that it's Time to Let Go

I had a dinner with a very close friend of mine who experienced a failed relationship. I know how it feels to get hurt and the hard part is on how to let go and move on. Being hurt is not as hard as moving on and letting go. It takes time for someone to forget and just leave everything behind specially if everything you see reminds you of the person. Complete healing takes time.

The relationship they had with this person lasted for how many years. I really can't remember how long but they had a on-off relationship. The first time they had a fight and called it quits was because she found out that the person is already committed to someone else. The guy promise to broke up with that person but found herself alone in agony. Sad thing is, because of out of love she still holds on to that promise that they will be together again. And now, finally, she is really willing to let go and move on.

Total damage because of being broken hearted can be minimize if in the first place you know how to let go. You should look for a sign when to let go and you might want to check my own list.

  • Someone always over look your worth - Before entering in a relationship, you should know your worth. You should know that you are important. When you feel that the person doesn't value your worth then you better think. When you give your commitment and self to someone who doesnt not respect you, its like giving pieces of your soul that you can never get back. Its easier for you to accept the fact that they dont care for you the way you care for them.
  • They are expecting you to be someone you are not - Never change who you are for anyone else. Be yourself. It better to lose someone than losing your own identity. Its much easier to fill someone's place than to fill inside yourself where you used to be. 
  • They always break your TRUST - Giving your trust to someone undoubtedly only means two things - A friend for life or a Lesson for life. Though either way there is always a positive outcome. When someone loves you unconditionally, the person would never break your trust. Trust is something that you earned. Be vigilant. Know the person well and make sure to try and discover whose fake and true and who are willing to be there for you. And trust me, someone will totally surprise you.
  • Actions don't match their words - Better let go of someone who is consistently inconsistent and their actions dont martch up with their words.

One thing that we shouls always remember is that there is always HOPE. Always keep pushing and move forward. Someday everytime will come to an end. Good things will come. Maybe it will arrived in a way you never imagine. And when that time comes, you'll find yourself smiling and proud of yourself that you overcome everything so easily.

Adik Sayo

Adik sayo - Not the song!

Dahil sa wala akong trabaho ng mahigit isang buwan na, ay ninais ko na manatili muna sa aking tahanan at magpahinga. Hmm.. Bawi na rin ito sa ilang buwang stress sa dating trabaho. At dahil sa sobrang board ako eh wala akong ibang mapaglibangan kundi ang aking cellphone. Kalikot. Kalikot. Kalikot. Hanggang sa panasin ko ang isang icon.

TING!








Oo yan ang icon na sinasabi ko.

Para saan yan? Hmm. I think you know it already.

Ang instagram ang isang application. Kung may smartphones ka (iPhone, iPad, iPod touch or Androi phone) pwede mo itong idownload para malaman mo. Joke!

Ang instagram ay isang apps na pwede kang mag share ng mga larawan tapos edit mo lang at lagyan ng filters.. and then pwede mo itong i-share sa ibat-ibang networking sites gaya ng facebook, twitter, foursquare, tumblr at kung anong ka ek-ekan pa. I check nyo na lang.

Adik ako sa instagram. Adik lang sa pag filter ng mga pictures at mas lalong nakaka-adik kapag may nagkagusto sa photo mo at i-like nila ito. Nakaka inspired. See kahit ako na walang trabaho may rason parin na maging masaya at ma inspired. Hindi pa naman katapusan ng mundo para magmukmok. Maraming dahilan para sumaya ang isang tao. Hindi porke't nadapa ka ay hanggang dun ka na lang. One should stand up and look for something inspiring and then fight. Naks! English daw oh.

Ang gusto ko lang sabihin eh maraming dahilan para maging masaya. Nasa paligid lang ang mga yan. Kailangan lang buksan ang isip at mata. Gaya ng apps na yan. Pinapasaya niya ako. Haha. At dahil din diyan marami akong nakikilala at nakakasalamuha na ibang tao, hindi lang local pati foreigner na din. At sa pamamagitan ng mga larawan na binabahagi mo sa kanila eh na iinspire sila in a way na nainspired ka na din.

Ok fine, heto na nga. Yung si instagram kasi, naadik nga ako. Dahil sa kaadikan ko kung ano ano na lang ginagawa ko dito. Nagpopost ng pictures halos kada minuto at naglalagay ng mga kung anong hashtag kaya ayun tuloy yung isa sa mga photo ko ay napili para sa picture of the day. Walang cash price to. Bragging rights lang. Pwede na din yun. Parang professional photographer lang daw ang dating. hahaha.

Ito yung picture

Oh diba? Ang yabang ko lang daw. 

Pagbigyan niyo na ako kasi pers tym ko kasi. 

Sa totoo lang masayang gawain to. Hehehe. At dahil sa pauso ng instagram na yan. May ibang apps din ang gaya ng instagram. 

Pero sa susunod ko na lang ishare sa inyo. Promise.
Oh diba? Kayo na lang muna ang dumiskubre sa ibang apps na yan ha. Di bale kwento ko ulit sa inyo sa mga darating na araw ang mga nagagawa ng ibang apps na yan.

For the meantime if you want to follow me, please utang na loob heto name ko @aboynamedxander

Hahaha..

Goodnight muna friends. Hanggang sa muli!

Way Back Home

Urgh!

Am I really back in blogging?

Yes..

I finally found my way back and start doing what I really love. It has been how many months that I didn't do this. I honestly don't know what happened but I just came to a point that I got tired in blogging. It actually eats up my time. Time that I should spend in going out and enjoy the real world. But look at me, I'm blogging again and doing what I really like and love. Naks!

Just a little update about myself. Things that happened in my life while I am away from blogging. 
  • I am jobless. Again!
  • I am now 31 years old. Wahahaha
  • I had my first travel outside the country in Thailand.
  • Travelled to Boracay.
  • Experience the Underground River in Puerto Princesa, Palawan
So there, yun na lang muna.

I promise to post and update this blog the best I can. :)

Blog Anniv

Get your own free Blogoversary button!