I am a Jinchuriki

Hiram na larawan kay Pareng Goggle

I was reading Manga online about Naruto's latest chapter wherein his having a hard time taming the nine tailed beast inside him. Tailed Beasts (biju) drive the plot of the Naruto series and said to be a giant construct of Chakra (basic energy source necessary for ninja to form jutsu) that if the host (Naruto for example) can tame and control it will have the ability to utilize its power which eventually gives the host great strength.

As I continue reading the last chapter, I began asking myself what if I'm one of the host in the series? How will I handle such pressure and strength? How will I react and tame my beast? I began to process these questions and I know I need answers at that point. I stared at the window pane from where I am seating in the office and then I saw  reflection of me through the glass window and suddenly I realize that each one of us has its own beast. I have my own beast inside. You have yours.

How?

Well, some people tend to hide what they feel inside. I myself do it all the time. When someone did bad to me, I can easily say that I already forgave them for what they did. I know I need to forgive them for me to completely move on. However, resentment starts to grow inside of me. Its like hatred starts to build up because the truth is I havent really forgave them completely. It's just me saying it but really haven't forgave them.

When we experience the same thing , when someone caused us too much pain (again!) the tendecy is that the hatred starts to grow more until such time that it will explode like a tailed beast wanting to devour everyone who inflicted us with hurts and pains. We then plan to take a revenge and unfortunately we also inflict other people. Hatred stirs up trouble. Hatred is like the beast who wants to get out inside of us. Its like a living creature that wants to contaminate other peoples feelings and emotions. Its like a virus that once you have it, its hard for it to be taken away. Once the beast lashed out, it can't be controlled and will devour every one that comes his way.

I am scared and afraid, I felt that anytime soon this beast inside of me will just come out. However, I need to control it. I need not to feed it with anythng negative or that will awaken the beast. I dont want this Jinchuriki to control me and in the end feel sorry for what happened.

I prayed... and continue praying.

That is the best thing I can do to kill it inside of me. I need love to keep myself covered from hatred. I need love that covers all multitude of sin.

I need God to control my life.

Starting today, I wont feed my beast. I will not allow it to grow or never gave it a little chance to be awake. The beast should die and should be taken out inside of me, until then I will be free.