Of Realizations, Doubts and Rejection

This is the longest vacation I ever had. I mean, I haven't been this lax all my life. As most of you know that I am currently jobless and finding ways to have the ends met. Though I know that sooner or later I will land on the job that is best for me.

However, just this afternoon as I was staring at my laptop browsing some job openings I feel so useless. I just feel so helpless. I've never been this idle for a long time. I felt that my skills and expertise are so not  working anymore.

I began to ponder on why and what happened. It shouldn't be this way. I should not feel this way. I should rejoice because I have the time to rest and think of better ways on how and where to discharge my energy. 

I began to doubt myself and feel that I am incompetent and that I can not really do greater things. I am just one of those wannabee who is trying so hard to impress a lot of people but deep inside I am just the same wannabee who will fail in the end. I feel rejected. 

But.. I wont just sit here and do nothing.

I realized that:

• I am this strong to face every circumstance with dignity and FAITH
• I can still walk through the valley of the shadow of death jobless for with God nothing is impossible.
• I still have this calmness inside even if the world is chaotic.
• I believe in grace under pressure. 
• I always find peace in the arms of my loving God.
• When fear and doubt sets in, my faith grows more than my doubt and fear.
• There are still people who believe in what I can do and not what I cannot do.
• There are people whom I called friends but never really a true friend.
• Never trust someone who offers you great things because in the end they are the one who will take greater things away from you. 

So, right now.. I am ready for a new adventure and always ready to take a new challenge. So bring it on!