Of Realizations, Doubts and Rejection
This is the longest vacation I ever had. I mean, I haven't been this lax all my life. As most of you know that I am currently jobless and finding ways to have the ends met. Though I know that sooner or later I will land on the job that is best for me.
However, just this afternoon as I was staring at my laptop browsing some job openings I feel so useless. I just feel so helpless. I've never been this idle for a long time. I felt that my skills and expertise are so not working anymore.
I began to ponder on why and what happened. It shouldn't be this way. I should not feel this way. I should rejoice because I have the time to rest and think of better ways on how and where to discharge my energy.
I began to doubt myself and feel that I am incompetent and that I can not really do greater things. I am just one of those wannabee who is trying so hard to impress a lot of people but deep inside I am just the same wannabee who will fail in the end. I feel rejected.
But.. I wont just sit here and do nothing.
I realized that:
- I am this strong to face every circumstance with dignity and FAITH
- I can still walk through the valley of the shadow of
deathjobless for with God nothing is impossible.
- I still have this calmness inside even if the world is chaotic.
- I believe in grace under pressure.
- I always find peace in the arms of my loving God.
- When fear and doubt sets in, my faith grows more than my doubt and fear.
- There are still people who believe in what I can do and not what I cannot do.
- There are people whom I called friends but never really a true friend.
- Never trust someone who offers you great things because in the end they are the one who will take greater things away from you.
So, right now.. I am ready for a new adventure and always ready to take a new challenge. So bring it on!