Call Me Xander

This past few weeks I've been struggling with something. Most of my closest friends and even my friends here in blogosphere knew what I've been through. It was also evident in my previous post na medyo may pagka-emo ang mga nasusulat ko. Seriously, its not easy. To some of you who supported me in prayers from the bottom of my heart-- Thank you!  That time, what I did is to accept the fact that I dont have a job anymore. Accepting it is not that easy. I know how hard it is to loose a job and it becomes harder when you know that you need a job to sustain and survive. I am living away from my family so whatever happens to me here, nobody will take care of me. However, I took it as a challenge. I was hurt and troubled after what happened but I tried to make something beautiful out of it. I took it as a wake up call that not all good things in this world will last. I took it as a sign that I need to give my full trust to God and not to myself.  So, hindi ako nagmukmok kun...

I was cleaning my mailbox (a literal box full of old mails I got from friends and loved ones) when  I saw my old notebook and read this old poem I wrote down many years ago. Wow, Its amazing how puppy love inspired me to write such poem. Ngayon hindi ko na magawa. Lol. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel col As time goes old Things change so fast Everything won't last I hold your hand They crumble to pieces of sand And as I stroke your hair I know, you won't dare to care A pain I felt Things that love dealt And it left me bleeding Slowly goes to my brain, creeping As I hug you tight I feel and see no light And as I kiss your lips I no longer feel loves depth Why do I feel That your heart is sealed You have left me behind And done it without any sign Now, as I pull you close Your hands drop loose And as I ask for love You shrug and said I no longer have As I see loves bitter end Torture and pain you've send It leaves no direction To my very evol...

I was washing my clothes this morning and was in a hurry to get it done so I can do other stuff today. I washed those clothes I wear when I go out to a party or special event, those clothes I always wear when I go out with my friends, when I go to church or when having a dinner with someone. As I keep on soaking those clothes in the bucket and squeezing it with my hands so dirt will come out, bubbles also came out every time I squeeze it. I sort of enjoying what I'm doing when a panoramic view of my life started to came out in front of me. One by one, I can clearly remember those scene of my life. There was a scene when I was still a kid trying to play with my siblings, a scene when I was in high school and had my first crush, the time I was broken-hearted, a scene when I started to lie just to keep myself away from trouble. There is also a picture of me trying to make decision which causes more problems in the end. Another scene of me seeing myself hating someone so much that ...

I was doing my daily blog hop one time when I saw the logo on the side. I got curious and ask the owner of that blog if what is that logo all about. He then told me to register for the upcoming event. I really don't have any idea what is it all about until I check there website and all questions and hesitations have been answered. I immediately registered and then the next day I received an email from Vincent Golangco telling me that they are formally inviting me to be part of the Blogapalooza. The event was held at Fully Booked Bonifacio High Street last September 17, 2011. There were 150 bloggers on the said event and about 50 Partners, Sponsors and Presenters on that day. I am with my blogger friend and we arrived at the venue 30 minutes ahead of time and because of that we were lucky to have a Planner from Aquabest which is one of the Presenters on that day. Below are the Sponsors and for the very first Blogapalooza.   During the event each presenters where...

hiram kay manong google.com The past few weeks was one hell of a ride. It was a moment of ups and downs. Been into emotional depression that causes my health to go down and I've been sick for weeks. My faith in God and in myself have been tested. For a time, I forgot who I was. I dont remember anymore the same person I used to be when I was a kid. My purpose disappears and in just one blink of an eye I forgot everything I have been dreaming of. This morning while I was reading the Bible, yes you read it right I read the Bible (did I just mentioned the word read three times in a phrase?..gosh). I was meditating the book of 1 John 1:7 - If we walk in the light, as he is the light... The Blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from sin, when a drop of faith reminded me so many things. Suppose a student doing a science project and experiment on the effect of light and darkness on the growth of the seed. The student gets a mung bean from a store and plant it in four Styrofoam cups...

When I woke up this morning and preparing myself for my job interview. I ask God, through my thoughts, if this job is really for me. I ask If He had a better plan for my future. I know I wont get an answer immediately. It takes a while. It's a process. It should start in me. Then I evaluate myself for the past few months about things that I did and accomplished, if any. I always found myself in the middle. You know, I always play safe in everything that I do, always making sure that I am pleasing in the sight of others. But what about God? Did I please Him with what I am doing? I guess not. Maybe thats the reason why I am suffering and encountering problems upon problems because I am always in the middle. I never step out of my comfort zone. I never came out according to what God wants me to be. I am never that strong. Never! Not until now. Today, I am praying for peace of mind and serenity of my heart. Lord, give me the strength that I need for me to move on with life. Give...

PAALALA: Ang kuwento sa ibaba ay isang gawain ng makulit na imahinasyon. Ang mga karakter, pangyayari at dyalogo ay iginuhit mula sa imahinasyon ng may akda at hindi nangangahulugan na makatotohanan. Ano mang pagkakahawig sa aktwal na kaganapan o tao, buhay man o patay, ay sadyang hindi sinasadya. Isang garapong holen na may ibat ibang disenyo at kulay ang nakita ni Ariel na nakatago sa sulok ng tokador. Nahumaling ito sa masasaya at kaakit-akit na kulay kaya't kinuha niya ito at pinaglaruan. Masayang pinaglalaruan ni Ariel ang mga holen na tila ba ay wala nang bukas. Alam niya na ang garapon ng holen ay pagmamay-ari ng kanyang kuya na si Rhuel. Mahilig mangolekta ng holen na may ibat-ibang disenyo, kulay at laki si Rhuel. Isang garapon na ang koleksyon niya kaya hindi niya ito basta basta nilalabas sapagkat mahalaga sa kanya ang mga ito.  "Nay, nakita mo po ba ang mga holen ko sa tokador?" Ang pagalit na tanong ni Rhuel sa kanyang Ina na nagluluto sa kusina.  ...

Nagising ako sa sinag ng araw na dumampi sa aking mga pisngi. Maganda at maaliwalas ang panahon kaya naisipan kong bumangon ng maaga, magkape at tumambay sa labas ng aming bahay. Dumiretso ako sa isang duyan na tambayan naming magkakapatid noong mga bata pa kami. Habang nakaupo sa duyan at hawak ang isang mainit na tasa ng kape, bumalik sa aking alaala ang panahon ng aking  kamusmusan. Sa mismong duyan na ito nagumpisa ang aming tawanan, kulitan at magdamagang kwentuhan. Minsan sa isang usapan naming magkakapatid natanong ni Mama kung ano ba daw ang pangarap namin sa buhay. Si Kuya nangarap na maging seaman. Ang aking kapatid na babae ay nangarap na maging isang nurse at yung isa naman ay teacher. Ako? Simple lang ang pangarap ko, ang maiahon sa buhay ang aking pamilya, ang matulungan ang aking mga magulang sa gastusin sa pagpapaaral ng bunsong kapatid ko at maibigay sa aking pamilya ang buhay na masagana. Humigop ako ng kaunting kape at humiga sa duyan habang pinagma...

Isang letter sender ang bibigyan ng kaukulang pansin dito sa Return to Sender. Isang babaeng nais bigyan ng second chance ang lalaking minahal niya ng buong buhay at tapat. Isang pag iibigan na humantong sa hiwalayan dahil sa "third party". Sa tingin nyo dapat pa bang bigyan ng second chance si lalaki? Naniniwala ka bang sa katagang "Love is sweeter the second time around?". Basahin natin ang liham ni Ms. Second Chance Hopeful -----------------------------------------------{-@ From: Second Chance Hopeful To: zxander316@gmail.com Date: August 31, 2011 Subject: Is Love sweeter the Second time Around? Dear Xandero, May matinding tanong po ako sa inyo. Naniniwala po ba kayo sa second chance? Like yung tipong magkakabalikan pa kayo ng ex-lover mo? Ikaw po ba kung may ex ka at nagkaroon ng moment na magkaayos kayo babalikan mo pa?  Weird po ng tanong ko noh? Pero kasi yung ex ko gusto makipagbalikan sa akin. Ehh Im scared na baka mangyari...