How to Get Over with your Ex

There is no surefire way to get over an ex boyfriend / girlfriend. When you break up, especially after being together for a long time, it is like losing a part of yourself. Do not fear though - it is not losing a part of yourself, it is just “like” losing a part of yourself.

There are a common set of 5 stages of grief that people go through during a breakup: 


Denial


At this point, you cant believe what has happened and you are most likely overwhelmed by shock - half expecting things to go back to “normal”.


Anger / Resentment


This is when it gets nasty & you might be inclined to do or say things that you will regret to the other person. You blame the other person for causing the situation or wasting years of your life, or being so difficult. In many ways those things are necessary because essentially fighting with each other and causing hurt makes the break up easier to comprehend for each person.


Bargaining


Im not quite sure that this is next after anger. Apparently, this is where you will feel inclined to try to convince the person that you can change or they can change and you really should be together. The decision to break up feels wrong and it seems as though the solution is to get back together rather than stay apart.


Depression


It’s really quite straightforward. You feel down in the dumps, alone and withdrawn from the world. At this point, the loss is acknowledged and it takes time to deal with it and sort through the issues. This is when you will feel most alone in the world. But don't fret! the best is yet to come.


Acceptance


The breakup is now in your past. You’re able to move forward with your life. Hopefully at this stage, seeing the person doesn't send you backwards in to one of the other stages.


What else?


Now that you know the stages of grief, you can at least understand what you are going through. Some other things you may experience during grief is a sense of a lost identity. You need to rediscover and redefine who you are without the other person. It’s difficult and dangerous because its important to have stability in your life.


How to get through it
  • Go to the Gym / work out - This is a fantastic thing to do when you are getting over a break up. Working out releases endorphins in the brain so you feel better than you ordinarily would if you were going through a break up (I am working out 5 - 6 times a week).
  • Be more social - Hang out or go to the nearest coffee shop with a good book, make some new friends who don't know your ex, get out of the house!
  • Generally get more busy - The less time you have alone to think, the less time you will be sitting alone thinking about your break up. Dwelling on a problem rarely presents a solution. The
    only thing to help with a breakup is time. If you can allow time to pass without over analyzing the situation, it will help.
  • Join a club, group or new activity - Increase the number of times you do an activity during the week. Take a cooking class. Join a book club. Do something you’ve always wanted to try. Go traveling!
All of these can help you take your mind off grieving for the most part but will allow you to think about it in moments - to process things without dwelling. In this case, I am taking my own advice! I hope it works for you.

Comments

  1. it's working for me.. basta tuloy-tuloy lang, walang hintuan.. though I may admit his thoughts still linger in my head, pero hanggang thoughts na lang, no more asa factor..

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  2. tama ka dyan Angel.. wala na ngang asa factor..

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  3. pinaka effective yung getting more busy..hihi

    ...eventually, mapapakanta ka na lang ng "i remember the boy, but i don't remember the feeling anymore"

    ...wow..now lang ulet ako nakabisita dito ah ^.^ cool naman ng header.. hihi

    kamusta ^^

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  4. hmmm bakit relationship tips ang nababasa ko ngayon dito? Dr. Love is that you? LOL

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  5. lahat ng to ginawa mo, gaya ng sinabi ko sa previous post mo hehehe. joke :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Madz - hjahaha.. di ko nga din alam kung bakit ehh hahaha.. masyado akong malapit sa pag-ibig lately hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Bino- hahahaha.. oo nagawa ko na din at napagdaanan yan wahahahaa...

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  8. I been in some terrible break up and there's this one effective method na ginagawa ko to move on
    its replacing love with hatred.
    hatred i guess is the opposite of love kaya na tutulungan nya ko pra makalimot haha.
    base on my experience lng nmn

    ReplyDelete
  9. Based on experience ba tong tips na ito? hehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  10. pabagu-bago lay-out! ikaw na hehe

    nakakatuwa yang DABDA na yan. sumsakto nga

    ReplyDelete

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