Dear Ex-Lover

I never imagined I would write a letter to you. I thought that my last letter and words was the time that we agreed to part our ways. I thought life would be easier without you and by just merely accepting everything will let my love for you die a natural death. However, everytime I resist and ignore my feelings, it becomes stronger everyday. I felt hopeless and weak everytime it hits me for I know for sure that in the end I am the looser and you again won. I know I should'nt feed this feeling anymore since we both know that this will lead us to nothingness. The feeling of hoping and dreaming but failed in the end will always be the result of my stubborness. 

Let me just tell you straight that lately my feelings is really acting weird. At times I realized, what If I fought for you and that I didn't give up just like that. What If I didn't agree on the idea that we will never be together again. What If I said "No", when you said goodbye to be with someone. What if... I remember the movie "Letters to Juliet", we watched it together and it says... "What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?

I admit "What if" is haunting me now. But everytime "what if" starts to disturbed me, I resist and keep away from it. That's the only way I know to keep myself from getting hurt. That's my way of protecting myself from possible pain (again). I am such a looser right?

Ex-Lover, this letter is not to win you back or anything for I know it will never be us again. I am not closing my doors for the both of us but I am just not seeing ourselves back in each others arms. We better off as friends, I believe. Though It hurts to see you with someone else, which really make things complicated. 

I should'nt tackle this issue as it has been rested for quite sometime. I know that renewing the past will only caused more pain on the scars we have created. This letter is just to let you know things that you never heard from me before, things that I did'nt tell you, words that I should'nt have told you. It's ironic to say but I am saying goodbye because I love you. It's not good to say I'm free for in the first place, I was never in caged. In fact, you give me freedom to choose what I want. You let me be myself and you always bring out the best in me. 

This letter will be my Certificate of Clearance. Stating that from this point forward; I, A Boy Named Xander, will release every feelings, emotions and pains and will leave it behind but will retain all good memories between us. The smiles, laughter, the scarifices and the happy days we've shared will always be remembered. This is to notify you that I am longer holding ang grudged against you but instead hoping that a brigther future will come for the both of us. I am officially and willfully  swear to God to be happy and look on to the positive side of life. 

So there! 

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Kapag dinapuan ka nga naman ng tupak ay siguradong makakapagsulat ka talaga ang mga ganito. #EmoMode #Nagiinarte #PusongSawi #BaliwSaLove