The Apotheosis of The Lost Soul

My faith was tested when an incident about keeping confidential information was unintentionally shared to other people. It was a mistake that take a toll on my work and my credibility in keeping confidential information was in question. It was an honest mistake. Unintentional. Unforgiven. And was never given a second chance. The very first incident. The very first mistake. But never the end of my life.

I was put on the spotlight unprepared. Caught unaware. I was like a criminal waiting for his sentence. I was like a prey waiting for his predator to completely devour him to pieces. For a moment I couldn't remember who I am, what are my intentions and dreams. I couldn't remember my purpose. It's like my world stops from spinning, my heart stops from breathing. Is this really happening? Yes! It is happening!

I began asking myself, "What have I done wrong to deserve this attention?". Doubts came in. Fear shook my inner being. Can I really survive the stardom or will it lead me in doom. For a while, I lost myself. I lost my identity. I lost the real me. Then I contemplate and look back on the things that are important, things that are valuable. I evaluate myself if what I've been doing will benefit or help me in the future. There's so much realization. Too many "what if's". If I could only turn back the time I could have done this and that. If I only have the chance to voice out what's inside. If...if...if...

On my way home one night, I reckoned myself, trying to put myself together. I was like a baby started to stand up on his own, learning from his experience. Every people I met I look at their faces, Some looked back at me, some give a smile, but some just have a blunt faces. I imagine, they might have there own burden, there own battles and struggles to win. I do not know what they've been through, they do not know what I've been through but there is only one thing common to us-- we are all climbing our own mountain. I am not alone in this journey. I am not the only one who is experiencing such problem. It might be different from what I have, but its the same burden, same stress and same agony.  

As I continue walking that same night, I reached a dark alley where only light from cars and vehicles passing through the other end of that path is visible. Once again, I'm ascertain that there is always light at the end of each road. Hope is coming. A new morning everyday. Its not always rainy season. Sunshine is coming. I was awaken from the harsh reality that life must go on. I need to continue walking so I can see completely the light and the bright side of the alley of life. Once I reach that level, I will be a renewed being. It will give birth to a new me. New hopes and new beginnings.

With this phase of life, I came to a realization that: 

      ► We need to be shaken to be awaken. 
      ► Greater is He that's living in you, than he that is in the world.
      ► There is always a rainbow after each rain.
      ► Your not the only one in this world that carry a burden, there's a lot out there who has greater burden that yours.
      ► Its not the end of the world. Its just the beginning of your journey.
      ► Give thanks in all circumstances. 
      ► Do not dwell in the past. Look to the future.
      ► There is always power in Prayer. 
      ► P-U-S-H (Pray Until Something Happen)
      ► Ask God's guidance and discernment.

Wish you all have a wonderful and fructuous life ahead. †


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