Questions You Should Ask To Find A Lifetime Partner

I've been dreaming that one day I'll settle down with the person I will consider as my lifetime partner. I was praying that someday, the right person will come. I've been searching for that right person but failure keeps hunting me. There are those who come along my way whom I thought are the right one but then in the end its not the one for me. I thought looking for that someone is the answer. I thought that waiting is the best way to find that lifetime partner but then again, I'm wrong. I should start by looking on the other side, by asking questions that give clear answers.

I began searching for answers about, Why love has to end? How to find a perfect partner? How will I know that this is the right person for me... and the question goes on and on...

Well, I was shuttered by the truth that I was asking the wrong questions. Maybe I should start asking this 4 questions for me to find a Lifetime partner. Maybe, you too, would like to ask this to yourselves. This questions might help you evaluate the prospect of long term succcess. We all know that when looking for a lifetime partner of the right person we dont want to make a mistake. We always make sure that the person that we have right now is the right and perfect for us. I've seen a lot of people in different walks of life wounded and broken because of a failed relationship, including me. It seems that many are making a serious mistake in their approach in finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you try to ask a couple together and what made them decide to get married or lived together, they will surely answer: "We're in love!". I think is the #1 biggest mistake people make in terms of finding the right one.

As what Rabbi Dov Heller said: "Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone)."

I think what he meant by that is, We can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone, we need a lot more. We need something more than love. When other ingredients are right, then love will come.

Now, lets move on to the question.. (pinapatagal pa eh noh!).
The questions below is also based on Rabbi Dov Heller's book, which I think worth sharing.

QUESTION # 1

Do we share a common life purpose?

Importante ba ito?

Let's just say, I am married for more than 25 years which is very long to live with someone. What are the things that you need to do together? Imagine 25 years of being together? (Yung 5 or 6 years nga nagkakasawaan pa, eh ang 25 years pa kaya?). Anyways, you can go and travel together, go out together, eat out and have fun together. In a relationship there are two things that can happen: You can grow together, or grow apart. To find a lifetime partner, YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE- bottom line- AND MARRY SOMEONE WHO WANTS THE SAME THING.

QUESTION #2

When I express my feelings and thought with this person, do I feel safe?

Feeling safe means you can openly communicate and talk with this person. The basis of it -- TRUST!

Trust that you wont be scared or afraid to get hurt when you express your feelings. Its trust when you can freely share your ideas and thought and not afraid that you will be punished ot tortured because if how you feel. In finding a life partner we should make sure that we are emotionally safe with this person.

QUESTION #3

Is he/she a refined and sensitive person??

To find this out is to ask another question: Is this person always striving to be good? Do they work on their personal growth? Is this person materialistic?

Those who are materialistic are the one whose top priority is not character refinement. These people are those who are dedicated in seeking comfort rather than personal growth. These people are those whose goal in life is to be comfortable in everything rather than doing the right thing.

QUESTION #4

Is there anything that I need to change about this person after we're married?

Most of us commit mistake in trying to "improve" or "change" the person. If we cannot fully accept this person for who they are then don't allow yourself to tie the knot or be together with this person.

Loving doesn't have to be difficult and trecherous. Love should be patience and kind, not jealous and free of pride.

The key: TRY TO LEAD A LITTLE MORE WITH YOUR HEAD AND LESS WITH YOUR HEART.

Lastly, falling in love is a great feeling,but when you wake up in the morning with a ring on your finger, or a you think Mr/Ms Right is beside you, you dont want to see yourself in trouble or get hurt and wounde because you didn't do your homework. It's better to be sure that we choose the right person rather than seeing ourselves broken into pieces that can never be whole again.


Comments

  1. hmm, this post made me think.

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  2. Salamat Xander... sa pag shashare niyan... fan ako ng love..sobra.. kahit medjo balistik ako minsan... pero totoo lang siguro kaya ganun ako kase wala ako problem sa lab... ewan.. syempre wala naman assurance relationship namin nung boypren kong baduy... pero ewan.. optimistic kame.. kaya nagiging okay lahat... i-shashare ko toh post mo sa mga bespren ko.. matmat x)

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Bok-- uu ako din nag isip hehe...

    @Kamila -- Go!! oii thanks sa pag nominate sa akin sa TABA ha.. 7 votes na ako..until 9PM na lang today ang pagboto.. haha

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  4. Dami kong natutunan dito. salamat ng marami. Isipin mo yon di lang kailangang in love ka. dami palang dapat e consider para maging succesful couple. Sana magawa natin ito.

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  5. "Love should be patience and kind, not jealous and free of pride."

    i like it bro seriously! nice post.

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  6. this post is cool... Guides that you can use in finding the right person that you will live with forever and ever....

    but the only problem is when you're in love you really don't have the time to think and evaluate things, only when the love rush start to subside that you begin to re evaluate you're choice...

    anyways...

    the best thing we can do is to experience love and experience the best of what love can offer....

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  7. @Diamond R - uu nga hindi lang talaga love.. ive learned that hindi lang yun at may iba pang kailangan..

    @Zeb- Thanks

    @Rhodey -- I agree its nice to experience love than never experience it at all..

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  8. Buti na lang check lahat ang sagot ko sa questions mo :P

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  9. i have been married for 6 to my lovely and caring wife. But still everyday is an adventure. still many more things to discover as we aged. learning never ends.

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  10. Hmmm... Saan ba ako dito nagkamali? Hehehe...

    Enewei, lintik na pag-ibig talaga ano. Ang hirap.. lagi na lang nasasaktan, lagi na lang.. PERO.. there's no reason big or valid enough to support giving up on love. Never give.. without LOVE, there's no LIFE. Echoz!

    hahaha!! Thanks sa mga guidelines Xander.. I'd make sure to think about these when I'm ready to take a dive again. =)

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  11. what if check lahat ng questions but the special affection for the person or whatsoever you call it is missing?like shes a wife material but you dont like her as ur wife. perhaps heart and head should be balanced too. this is only my opinion. but nice post btw. worth reading.

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  12. ...pag dating siguro sa love...
    di ka na mag iisip..pa...
    u just let it flow...
    san ka masaya...hanggang sa masaktan ka na lang and hanggang sa maging manhid ka lang...

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  13. nice one chong.. sarap naman eh copy paste ito tapos iprint ilagay sa dingding...

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  14. This is a nice post, when I was reading it I only had one person in mind. I think I found my the-one.

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  15. kaya naman ako, i'm reading when god writes your love story. kakainspire. let God write our own story and for sure hapy ending :)

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  16. @Lakwatsero -- thats good at check lahat ng sagot mo.. Good Job!

    @Master-- yes i agree its an adventure and you should do it together... para mas maging masaya ang lovelife..

    @Leah-- hmm.. i think wala naman pagkakamali. Ang isang tao kapag nagmahal nawawala yung balance ng isip at puso kaya tayo nasasaktan. Dapat balance tayo. Gamitin ang utak at the same time ang puso.

    @krn-- i agree with you. dapat balance. kasi kung puro utak lang naman ehh it wont work.

    @Anonymous-- hindi rin magand ang maging sunod sunuran sa flow.. kasi what if yung flow na yun mapuputa sa masama. At ang pagiging manhid ay hindi rin tama. Ang kaakibat ng love at sakit.. so dapat maging ready tayong tanggapin ang lahat kung sakali mang umabot sa ganun. Pero maiiwasan yan kapay nag isip tayo ng tama at nagdecision ang puso ng tama rin.

    @Kikomaxx-- cge lang i copy mo lang para may guidelines ka.. ako naka print na sa wall ko.. haha everyday checklist wahahahaha..

    @Kraehe-- Congratulations if you found the one.. Keep it up.. Love Love Love!!!

    @Bino- thats a good book. Nabasa ko na din yan. Noon nabasa ko yung I Kiss Dating goodbye ni Joshua Harris nung mahilig ako makipag date pero now yan na ang binabasa ko.. hahaha

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  17. wow! another useful material! thanks for sharing... hehe

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  18. mmpph.. anung meron..... looking for something... hehhe napaisip ako sa entry na to ha :D

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  19. very nice! nakakatulong tong blog mo choy. i was thinking of the same post last year but tinamad ako...saka di hamak na mas maganda tong naisip mo hahahaha.

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  20. @AXL-- hahaha... im not looking for something pare.. hahaha...

    @Ronster -- salamat ng madami at may naitutulong pala itong blog na ito.. haha

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  21. hi Xander. Actually pagdating sa topic na yan, madami ka pwedeng itanong. pero wlang tama or maling sagot. everything is case to case basis. pero this helped me a lot:

    http://colorfullbliss.blogspot.com/2011/01/did-i-marry-right-person.html

    take time to read this bro! :)

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  22. @Mr Chan-- thanks forsharing the site.. its cool and its helping me as well.. thanks

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  23. hey i m deepika.kya me aap se chatting kar skti hun

    ReplyDelete

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